Orbiting: what it means to orbit around a person
Orbiting has now been added to the most famous ghosting. It is all those love tactics based on ambiguity and the absence of clear and crystalline communication in the couple.You may not be aware of it, but you yourself / or may have been a victim of orbiting. Or maybe even executioner. If you want to deepen the topic, in this article we will explain what it means to orbit around someone and why it is particularly wrong, giving you some suggestions on how to react if this phenomenon should involve you!
But before you start, check out this heartwarming video about true love!
The meaning of orbiting
The first to officially talk about "orbiting" was the American blogger Anna Iovine, after having lived this experience firsthand. But what exactly is meant by orbiting? It's very simple: you start dating a person, everything seems to be going well, until the individual in question disappears from your life, but without ever disappearing completely. Ignore your messages, but don't miss any of your Instagram stories. Never once does he ask you to go out, but there is always a like to any of your photos. He doesn't feel like embarking on a stable relationship, but continues to comment on any post on Facebook. In short, it refuses to be part of your real life, but absolutely not of the digital one. Something very similar happened to Iovine, who, talking about it with his friends and colleagues, realized how widespread this phenomenon was already. In fact, she coined the term "orbiter", defining it as "the ex that keeps you in its orbit" and introducing the word "orbiting" into the common jargon.
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Why does a person orbit?
What mainly disturbs the victim of orbiting is the absence of explanations and clarifications with respect to the - only apparent - estrangement of the partner. This presence - absence is exhausting because it destabilizes the serenity of the other, who will end up afflicting himself, wondering in vain what was wrong with the relationship. In reality, the one and only responsible for this phenomenon is the orbiter itself. At the moment they have been identified. 3 reasons that explain why an individual adopts this deviant behavior within their relationships.
1. Because he is affected by a form of narcissism and this pathology pushes him to manipulate the now ex-partner through a series of ambiguous and contradictory signals to bind him to himself. In short, for some, orbiting is like exercising a rather subtle form of control over others, exploiting their vulnerability.
2. Because he does not notice what he is doing, so he looks at your stories on Instagram, overwhelms you with likes on Facebook, comments on all your photos, but without conspiracy or artificial lucubrations. In short, the orbiter does these things out of boredom, to pass the time, because he is in line at the supermarket and certainly not to send you subliminal messages or with the awareness that his random actions are objects of study.
3. Because, and this is the most frequent case, he does not know what he wants and does not feel ready to definitively close the chapter. In practice, orbiters, or at least some, consciously implement a purely social and rather standoffish flirting strategy in such a way as to be free to retrace their steps when and where they wish. At the moment, therefore, they abhor serious relationships, but in the (always remote) eventuality that something changes, they do not preclude the possibility of rethinking it and restoring the original couple. "Part of this orbiting behavior is actually attributable to those people who do not feel ready to commit to a relationship, but still decide to orbit the person they have decided to leave, because the concern is that if they have to completely eliminate contact, they might miss the chance to reconnect with her later. " It is through these words that Rachel O’Neill, a relationship specialist, explains even more clearly the attitude of these individuals.
To all these explanations is also added the reflection of Adriano Formoso, a psychotherapist, who identifies in the orbiter a subject marked by childhood traumas that have hindered his regular personal development and the ability to relate to others in a healthy way.
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Orbiting and ghosting: what's the difference?
Before orbiting, there was talk of ghosting. Although both practices have to do with love pains, they are not to be confused. We are victims of ghosting when a person, out of the blue and without any explanation, disappears completely from our life, sometimes even blocking us on social networks and deleting us from the address book. It may happen that you have frequented and talked to each other until the day before, only to then completely lose track of it forever. In the case of orbiting, however, the disappearance is never definitive but only partial. The ex partner, in fact, orbits you, but without committing to a relationship with you.
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Orbiting: how to react
Unfortunately, none of us are immune to heart problems. Some more, some less, we have all been through it and, despite the suffering, we managed to get up and we learned to distinguish who is right from who is wrong for us. However, in the case of orbiting, the pain is sometimes greater since the absence of a clearly marked refusal prevents us from turning the page and moving forward, tormented by doubts and feelings of guilt. To recover after this type of love disappointment, you must first of all make a clean sweep on social media: block, defollow, hide your contents from those who have not even had the courage to reject us explicitly. Then you have to accept what happened and come to the conclusion, although certainly always valid rhetoric, that some people are better off losing than finding them!