Infatuation: the symptoms and differences from falling in love

It certainly happens in the course of life to fall in love with "another person and begin to experience certain sensations, almost always resulting from a strong physical attraction, which one will have to deal with for a while".
The most complex thing is to understand if it is a passing feeling, no less strong and engaging, or a beginning of falling in love that can be the prelude to a beautiful love story.

However, there are signs to understand it easily and thus avoid investing too much time where it is not entirely necessary or simply facing the situation with the right awareness and measure, without giving it too much weight, suffering unnecessarily and jeopardizing one's self-esteem. and personal dignity.

Whether you are trying to understand how you feel about another person, or whether you are intent on deciphering if the person on duty is infatuated or moved by affection or true love, here are some tips and guidelines to move in the magical and complex world of relations.

In any case, a good starting point is to pay attention to the non-verbal language that is being launched or that you yourself communicate even unconsciously.

Symptoms of infatuation

As anticipated, the true meaning of infatuation lies in a strong physical and psychological attraction towards another person. Contrary to what one might think, being infatuated never means being involved only from a physical point of view but also emotionally, coming to experience a sensation - mistakenly associated with love - that overwhelms us at 360 °, making us not very lucid and rational, almost as if we were under a powerful spell that we feed ourselves. Physical attraction, however, is not a decisive signal to "diagnose" infatuation because it is a fundamental ingredient even when one is in love: every type of relationship or connection always starts from a physical interest. The symptoms of infatuation are rather these:

  • Butterflies in the stomach, states of euphoria and joy alternating with deusion and frustration, sudden mood swings based on reactions / interactions with this person.
  • Tendency to always be in the clouds, to be little present in reality and fixed thoughts on her.
  • Do everything to see her, talk to her and spend time with her, even at the cost of upsetting plans and priorities, doing crazy things bordering on ridicule and neglecting everything else.
  • Loss of the sense of rationality and total submission to passion and desires.
  • Inability to see reality and the person for what they are: idealization and distorted vision of reality.
  • Strong sexual desire.
  • Those who are infatuated at the beginning do not think about the consequences: they focus on the present and on what they want, as if they were clouded by irrational impulses, not evaluating the possible consequences, emotional and real, of what they are about to do and want to do.


Episodes of infatuation generally occur in the early stages of an acquaintance; it is rare that you break out with a person you already know or have been with for some time, and it develops precisely from physical attraction.

At the same time, it must be said that in some cases, this initial infatuation can turn into falling in love and a stable relationship, but for this to happen, conditions must change and feelings must mature: the infatuated person must in fact stop idealizing the person in question, starting to know her for what she is and ceasing to consider her as a deity on a pedestal.

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Infatuation and crush

In essence, the crush is a kind of infatuation typical of the adolescent period. The symptoms are more or less the same, but precisely because of the young age, it may be that it lasts much less and that it recurs shortly after changing the object of desire.

How long does the infatuation last?

One of the symptoms of infatuation is that in most cases it has a short duration: its intensity is as sudden in igniting as in extinguishing. However, as already said, there can be a "positive evolution of this feeling and its progressive and conscious transformation into love.

The timing varies from case to case and also according to age: in adolescence they will be shorter, growing up it may be that you find yourself "disposing" of the infatuation in a much longer time.

It is very easy for this type of experience to occur in the presence of low self-esteem or not full self-awareness (which is why it is a very widespread phenomenon at a young age) and that one begins to get out of it once embarked on a path of personal growth. leading to awareness, security and self-love.
Sometimes, it simply happens to be mistaken for a person who seems to embody our ideal or even just for the desire to share and the desire to feel loved.

The difference between love and infatuation

The substantial difference between infatuation and falling in love lies in the degree of knowledge of the person who becomes the object of our desire. In the first case, as we have seen, we do not really know the other, but we focus only on some superficial aspects, often not even real, and an "image is built that in most cases does not correspond to his true personality. You start making conjectures and projects in your head but it may be that, for example, you do not know basic things about the person in question, such as trivially his favorite color, what he likes and what his birthday is.

Falling in love, on the other hand, arises from a much deeper level of knowledge and an intimate and mental connection. comparisons, two fundamental aspects for the birth of a lasting relationship. You do not idealize or project something unreal, you simply begin to feel a feeling that has grown over time thanks to a series of factors, including, without a doubt, physical attraction.

Another central difference lies in the degree of maturity and self-awareness of the person himself. Where there is a good knowledge of oneself and also the ability to feel good about oneself, it will undoubtedly be easier to choose a more compatible partner and develop a feeling destined to blossom with simplicity and to become a true love that lasts over time. Not necessarily because it is something worth living, it must be the man of your life: a relationship can also grow, mature and last for years, only to be interrupted for a series of reasons in a completely peaceful and natural way. These are normal dynamics that involve the story of a couple and the feelings of the human soul.

But as sociologist Francesco Alberoni taught us, falling in love and love are not the same thing. The first is just an initial phase that leads to the construction of a solid and lasting relationship that over time becomes love. This word embodies a series of essential feelings including respect, trust, complicity, mental and sexual understanding, the ability to compromise and come together, finding a common goal in a life project together. These are solid foundations that are gradually being built starting from the very first phase of falling in love. Often couple relationships can last many years, in other cases they will be shorter, but you can never say that you have wasted time or lived useless experiences if you have shared something deep, sincere and intent with your partner.

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