Master your emotions in the office
A large dose of emotions
Feel like violently denying a request from your boss? Do you have the overwhelming desire to run away just before an important meeting, to scream with happiness at the news of a promotion or to burst into tears reading the conclusions of your year-end report? Your professional life is made up of emotions and stress. Better yet, these emotions are an integral part of any organizational life. The essential thing remains, however, to learn to tame them to communicate better, and therefore to adapt serenely to different situations. Psychologists state two basic principles: first of all, to manage your emotions, you need to know how to recognize them. For example, do you recognize situations that can change your moods? It is about doing a work of introspection aimed at predicting them, and then being able to contain oneself. It is also important to take into consideration the emotional state of others. An angry colleague, a stressed boss ... there is no reason to start a dialogue, running the risk that it will be conflictual!
How to behave according to the situations
It is often difficult to remain calm or contain oneself in certain situations and in the face of certain emotions. What attitude to adopt towards colleagues and superiors?
In case of anger: You discuss with colleagues in a meeting and one of them openly attacks you on the quality of your work or on more personal topics. You find his attitude unwarranted. The result? Strong aggression, tears and unpleasant remarks. Let there be war!
How to behave: don't play his game. Your reputation is at stake! The best means of fighting your opponent remain calm and safety. “But why do you react like this? Don't you think you are exaggerating? "
In case of panic: your boss suddenly brought forward a work deadline. Result: you panic and feel completely disarmed in this emergency situation. Or, even worse, you start defeated, imagining the worst ...
The attitude to adopt: don't give up! Keep calm and, above all, do not give up (of course to the extent possible ...). To do this, consider things at a safe distance and organize your work according to priorities. If you work as a team, ask colleagues for help with minor tasks and gaining valuable time. You can also try asking your boss for an extension. The most important thing is not to show your panic, to show your supervisor that you react well in times of greatest urgency.
In case of shame: You are usually reserved, you tend to blush at the slightest opportunity and literally paralyze yourself in public. Today it's your turn: you have to present that new project you are so proud of. You start talking, all eyes are on you and ... here you lose the thread, your voice begins to tremble ... in short, it's a humiliation!
How to behave: Staying calm is easier than it looks! If you feel like you are losing control, the best thing to do is inform the public of your embarrassment. Your frankness will strike him. During your speech, try, with all your strength, to establish a real dialogue with those present. Let them ask you questions, so you will be able to create a relaxed atmosphere and you can buy time to regain your composure. Think about exercising too. Reread your notes, learn a few introductory phrases and clear your throat.
In case of sadness: the year-end budget, frankly, did not spare you? And you who thought your work was appreciated by your boss! But he had no qualms about making those observations that deeply annoyed you ...
The right thing to do: you feel disappointed and frustrated, this is normal. But don't burst into tears as soon as you walk through the door of his office, or in front of your colleagues. If you just can't hold back, isolate yourself for a moment. The most important thing is not to let the situation escalate: talk to your supervisor, express your point of view on the subject (without being aggressive) and make up your mind to change things by showing him that he was wrong.
In case of intense joy: here it is finally, the promotion you have been waiting for so long! You are overjoyed. You explode with happiness, you want to laugh, sing and share your emotions with colleagues.
The Right Thing to Do: Even if you are outbursts of joy, control yourself as much as you can. First of all, with your boss. Being over the moon at the news that your wish has come true, could be interpreted as a lack of confidence in yourself, as if it were almost impossible for you to do this… Even in front of your colleagues, avoid overdoing it. First of all because it could be seen as a sign of presumption. And also because some colleagues may not appreciate this externalization of your happiness, since they have been less fortunate than you ...
Advice for managers
The situation does not necessarily change if you lead a team. Giving directions also means having to manage the moods of subordinates. Anger, complaints, fear ... these are often negative moods. How to react then? It depends on the nature of the relationships you want to establish. Some people are spontaneous, show their emotions transparently, others choose to contain themselves more.The leader must always question the reactions of his team members. Why this bitterness, this aggression, or this apathy? It would be better then not to ignore these emotions but, on the contrary, to ask questions.
Other ways to stay in control
To better manage your emotions in the office, you can also use other techniques. If you feel a certain amount of aggression, a lot of stress and you have a tendency to be too impulsive, think about relaxing. Alone or in group sessions, it is about learning to breathe calmly and to eliminate tensions. And if certain situations really seem insurmountable to you, do not hesitate to consult a specialist or even to start psychotherapy.
