I haven't made love for a long time

What does “a long time” mean?

Everyone has their own perception of time. There are those who, accustomed to having sex several times a week, fifteen days of abstinence can seem like an "eternity! cuddling can be felt. Everything is relative and, above all, subjective. It is therefore difficult to quantify this "long time".

You live it pretty well

Well yes, it may happen that this chastity is voluntary and that it is not necessarily experienced as an ordeal. In reverse!

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1) You can decide to take a break to recover from a separation, from an event, from an important stage, or following unsatisfactory sexual experiences. This period of pause allows you to take stock of yourself, focus on things that are most interesting and to proceed with a kind of "brain cleaning". It makes a clean sweep of previous relationships in order to better take advantage of future ones.

2) You can have your head elsewhere and not think at all about sex, but rather about work, moving, the birthday to organize ... Time has passed so quickly that you didn't even realize that you don't make love since Valentine's Day !

3) Some couples enjoy setting up a "three-year rotation". No sex for 3 weeks, months ... to increase the desire and impatience and stimulate the hormones a little more. Why? To have explosive and seventh heavenly intercourse. What if you miss sex? you wanted!

You don't live it very well!

You really have an obsession and that makes you nervous… In short, you are missing a good melee with a man!

1) Whether it's good or bad, whether it's for a night or a lifetime, it doesn't matter. You miss sex so much that you would be ready to indulge in the first one who passes by. How to do?

- appeal to your "bed friend" ... the friend who is always willing to have a night of sex, of course without ruining your friendship.

- Start dating a lot to meet new people, sign up for dating sites or speed dating®. Hoping that the chosen one will also be ready to get right to the point!

Remember: always use a condom!

2) You really want it, but you don't want to throw yourself into the arms of the first one that happens. How to do?

- Start from the principle that "whoever does it by himself is for three", and apply Woody Allen's famous observation to the letter: "Masturbating means making love with someone you love"! A small solo orgasm and off you go! sad? You could invest in a sex toy!

- Ask yourself this question: is it the "act of" love that I miss or the fact of being with someone? Very often, your state of mind corresponds to the second solution. So don't rush into the first one that happens, rather go in search of your other half ...

3) Are you in a couple and do you live this absence of intimate relationships very badly? Be careful not to fall into a vicious circle: the less you love, the less you feel like it. Your partner may feel the same thing. Do not hesitate to take the initiative and possibly talk to him to resolve this situation.

For more information, see our practice sheet: The decline in desire.

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