Cyberbullying: what it is and how can we intervene to protect our children
Cyberbullying - the news confirms - is an increasingly widespread phenomenon that is claiming more and more victims among the children who are growing up in the age of social media and technology, with constant access to the internet.
The "millennials", as the young people of the new millennium generation are defined, do not clearly distinguish their virtual existence, on-line, from that off-line: everyday life takes place for them in both dimensions and they both have the same importance. This is the reason why being attacked, offended, teased or threatened on the internet can make them suffer just as if they were victims of traditional bullying, if not more.
So let's try to deepen the meaning of cyberbullying starting from its definition, and then address important reflections on its characteristics and on how we can be of help to our children, in case they become victims. The Internet must certainly not be demonized, but its dangers must be looked at: a concrete example is the one described in the following video.
Cyberbullying Definition: What Is Its Meaning?
We speak of cyberbullying to indicate an improper use of the internet to harass, victimize, threaten, offend or exclude someone. Acts of this kind can be carried out through social networks (from facebook to instagram), online forums, chats, blogs, emails, sites or applications that allow the exchange of instant messages or questions and answers.
Cyberbullies can act in a number of ways: by spreading gossip, embarrassing comments or information, photos or videos; stealing the virtual identity of the victim in order to damage her, threatening her physically, insulting her or making fun of her.
Often, precisely because of the lack of distinction between on-line and off-line life we mentioned, the threats and derisions continue even in real life, for example the next day in the school corridors, impacting the victim's existence. 360 degrees.
Cyberbullying: some reflections on its danger
Adults must not make the mistake of underestimating cyberbullying only because it is apparently disconnected from "real" life, in flesh and blood.
Why is cyberbullying so dangerous? First of all for its pervasiveness: wherever there is an internet connection (and today, thanks to smartphones, one lives perennially connected) the cyberbully can attack and the victim suffer. Furthermore, not seeing the victim's reaction immediately, the cyberbully does not have a real and direct awareness of how much the other is suffering and this can lead him to hold back less than he could do in real life.
A second characteristic of cyberbullying, which increases its severity, is the fact that the material put online (verbal, video, photographic) can reach an infinite number of people and, above all, remains there for a long time, being practically impossible to delete or even just to check. Sharing online is the rule and, by sharing material that represents cyberbullying, one ends up becoming cyberbullying in turn.
Who are the victims of cyberbullying?
Anyone can be a victim of cyberbullying. Just like with traditional bullying, there is a tendency to target young people who already suffer from some insertion difficulties, ending up making their life a real hell.
The cyberbully is, in most cases, someone whom the victim knows, although he may choose to hide behind the anonymity that the PC screen allows. He will always tend, moreover, to create a network of cyberbullies that supports him, often protected by nick-name, fake profiles or false identities.
Victims of cyberbullying will immediately tend to show signs of discomfort, from insomnia to inappetence, up to manifestations of anxiety, panic attacks, development of antisocial behaviors: in the worst cases it can lead to suicide. The psychological stress these kids are subjected to can be very harmful and even exceed the physical stress that traditional bullying would subject them to.
Cyberbullies, on the other hand, can also grow showing a tendency to commit crime, alcohol or substance abuse, and a general psychophysical imbalance.
The law against cyberbullying
From 18 June 2017, a law against cyberbullying came into force which provides for an increase in web controls and greater involvement of schools.
First of all, a child over the age of 14, victim of cyberbullying, can ask the manager of the site on which he was offended the obscuring of the material concerning him and which must be removed within 48 hours.
In each school, then, there must be a professor appointed as the contact person for the initiatives against cyberbullying and educational and information initiatives must be carried out for a healthy and conscious use of the internet that prevents these phenomena.
This is what advocate Michael Pasian, secretary of ACBS (Association Against School Bullying) claims: "The consequence of the excessive use of the electronic medium has increased the cases of defamation and insult online. Law 71 which protects children who are victims of cyberbullying. Law 71 has allowed schools and competent institutions to have the basis for working on this phenomenon ".
Until a real complaint is made, the cyberbully can be admonished by the commissioner, as required for stalking. Therefore, it is important that the victims talk about it with a teacher or with their parents so that we can proceed with the warning.
Advice for mothers: what to do if your child is a victim of cyberbullying?
The number one enemy of bullying (and therefore cyberbullying) is silence: it is important for every parent to be able to establish a listening and communication relationship with their child such that, in case he is a victim of cyberbullying, he can talk about it with you from first moment. This is the best way to prevent the worst, along with proper sentimental and emotional education.
Paying attention to your child, while leaving him his space, is essential: it is important that he knows that you are there and that, if in difficulty, he can turn to you. Also, in this way, you will be able to pick up on even the small changes, indicators that something is bothering him.
Controlling his online browsing is not easy, especially if he is a teenager, but you can set rules: invite him not to accept friendship on social networks from strangers, for example, or limit the time he spends online. line offering him other stimuli and activities that can better use his energies. In general, avoid leaving your child alone in front of a screen for too long, unsupervised.
Finally, online you will find numerous associations that deal with cyberbullying with toll-free numbers to which you can contact in case of difficulty or even just doubts and perplexities. Meanwhile, tonight, why don't you turn off your computer and watch a good movie all together?
