Love Doesn't Hurt: How to Recognize Psychological Violence
We often think of home and intimate relationships as safe havens in which to find refuge from the evil of the outside world. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. For some of us, home is not a safe place and violence is not always marked by bruises but also by behaviors that undermine our self-esteem.
Dr. Tania Sotero, psychologist and psychotherapist specialized in gender violence explains how to recognize the various types of violence starting from the psychological one.
Self-esteem at an all-time low
In a healthy relationship it is rare to feel devalued by your partner and, when it happens, it often results from a misunderstanding that is resolved with communication and affection.
But when the feeling of inadequacy is frequent or even permanent, perhaps because of unkind comments about your physical appearance or because of the devaluation of your career or your skills in general, you realize that there is something that your partner has said and that it makes you sick but you can't quite understand what it is.
You feel tired, confused, alone and you begin to doubt yourself, to feel less beautiful and to feel bad for no apparent reason.
Suddenly you no longer love yourself as before and your attention is focused on the person next to you, you concentrate all your energies in an attempt to impress her, to be appreciated but without success. And this wears you out.
See also
Psychological violence: the "invisible" evil
Unlike physical violence, which immediately shows its signs, psychological violence has a slow and corrosive action. From the unmotivated jealousy of the partner to the barbs that imperceptibly knock you down from day to day.
It is a relatively invisible violence because, it is true that those who suffer it tend to notice it after a while, but those who are close to you and really love you realize it much earlier than you.
If you feel that something in your relationship is making you sick or if you believe that your friend is particularly sad, confused and isolating herself more and more often, you probably have / have to do with a toxic presence in your / her life. Remember that you are never alone and that in addition to friends and family there are experts who are always ready to help you. Call 1522 or search for the nearest anti-violence center. There will always be someone who will reach out to you.
Tania Sotero is a psychologist and psychotherapist who works for the CAV SAVE in Trani (BAT).
You can find it on Linkedin.
