Aromantic: what are the characteristics of a person who defines himself in this way?
The issue of sexuality is discovering itself much more complex than it was, and this also concerns those aspects that touch people's feelings and emotions. Not everyone feels the same things when you are together with your loved one, but surely making love with your partner has indisputable advantages! Discover 7, inherent both to physical health and to mood; take a look at the video below!
What is meant by aromantic
Let's focus on a decidedly little known romantic orientation: aromanticism.
People who are part of this sexual spectrum define themselves as aromantic. What does it mean?
Typically an aromantic person is someone who does not develop romantic attractions towards the other, regardless of gender. He is also identified with the "abbreviation" aro ".
However, this does not mean that an aromantic does not feel emotions, but simply does not want to bond with someone in a romantic way, in practice he is not really interested.
On the other hand, the discourse is different for the bonds of friendship or deep affection: an aromantic is not a hermit; he is able to feel emotions and can have more or less deep friendships like any other human being.
Indeed, he prefers this type of relationship with another individual rather than a couple bond. The reasons can be many, and one of these may be the feeling of discomfort experienced within a couple in love. From the point of view of romantic relationships, aromatics are typically single.
It is not unusual to find aromantics in events dedicated to the lgbt world: you recognize them thanks to the different colored flag than the rainbow one (in the cover photo, the flag on the left is the official one for aromantics).
There is a week of the year dedicated to the awareness of the aroma spectrum, which falls just after Valentine's Day. It was set up to raise public awareness on this still little known issue.
See also
Aromanticism
What do we mean when we talk about aromanticism? Aromanticism is defined as the total or partial absence of romantic attraction towards other people.
Mind you, aromanticism is an orientation, and it has to do with the romantic side of a person and not the sexual side. The more sentimental aspect of a relationship does not arouse interest in an aromantic, nor do you even imagine experiencing it.
Aromanticism is part of a spectrum. Do you know what it is? Basically it is a concept that allows us to have an idea of the nuances that belong to the same orientation.
In fact, there is no unique way to feel aromantic, on the contrary, aromanticism can be expressed in many different forms. For example, aromanticism is not universal: it is possible to feel this way towards only some people, and in these cases the term "aromantic" is more than correct to use.
One thing that unites it with the other guidelines is that it could be a transitory situation. For some individuals, not feeling attraction to others can change over the course of life, although this has been shown to be rare, but still possible. That is, similar to sexual orientation, it is difficult to change one's nature in a radical way, but not impossible.
It is important to distinguish sexual attraction from romantic attraction in aromanticism.
Unlike homo and hetero-sexual, where the attractions coincide, in aromantics it is possible to have a sexual orientation different from the romantic one.
This can create so much confusion, even within the narrow circle of stakeholders. Hence the importance of recognizing how aromanticism is a spectrum: its community is very diverse and has many gray areas.
Let's see together the most relevant nuances.
The nuances of aromanticism
Aromanticism is not as widespread as heterosexual or homosexual orientation can be. Nevertheless, within it there are several possible combinations for people who identify with its spectrum.
Let's try to describe the main nuances of aromanticism, bearing in mind that reality is much more fluid than what one thinks or writes.
- Aroflux: a person whose romantic orientation fluctuates between the romantic and aromantic spectrum;
- Gray-aromantic: who experiences romantic attraction only in certain specific contexts, towards one or a few people;
- Demiromanticism: possibility of forging an emotional bond that leads to romantic attraction, despite identifying oneself as aromantic;
- Akoiromanticism (or lithromanticism): when you don't care that your romantic desire for a person is reciprocated;
- Cupioromanticism: those aromantic women or men who still want to experience a sentimental relationship are identified;
- Quoiromanticism: the emphasis is placed on the inability of not being able to separate the romantic attraction from the platonic one;
- Omniaromanticism: This is when you do not feel any romantic attraction, in any form or manner. Omniaromantic individuals may, however, experience platonic or family love, but it is not something definite.
Differences between aromantic and asexual
The most common stereotype is to think of aromantic people as asexual subjects, but the truth is that they are two very different things.
Let's repeat it one more time: those who call themselves aromantic don't feel any sentimental or romantic involvement, but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate romance. They are people who are very capable of loving, but they prefer to allocate a type of love different from the stereotypical one of romanticism made of hearts, chocolates and red roses. Also, a good part of the aromantics are interested in sex!
So why are they unfairly confused with asexuals?
Asexual people are simply disinterested in sex, but that doesn't mean they don't and don't feel pleasure from masturbating. In fact, they are individuals who find sex boring or monotonous. They are not even that few: it is estimated that about 1% of the world population is asexual.
(In this regard, if the topic interests you, read our article on "asexuality and asexuals).
The stereotype with the aromantic lies in the fact of typically imagining all aromantic people as asexual. This is actually a prejudice that derives from the lack of knowledge of the different romantic and sexual orientations that have been given the most exhaustive definitions possible in the course of the last years.
Know that aromantic people aren't necessarily asexual; certainly, for some of them it will be like this, but not for all and one category does not identify the other. There can be many different combinations, such as, for example, feeling physical but not sentimental attraction or vice versa.
Again, there are people who experience both sexual and romantic attraction in different ways, depending on the subject in front of them.
In short, "identity is something extremely personal, and it is good to respect everyone's emotions and desires, giving the right definitions and" labels "(although it is limiting to include someone in a" label, but it is a first step to be understood ).
The signs to understand if you are aromantic
Now that we have cleared some false myths about aromanticism and outlined a few more traits of aromantic individuals, let's move on to the signals that should make us understand if by chance we are aromantic.
Obviously we are generalizing, because as we have seen in the previous paragraphs, aromanticism is a spectrum with many nuances, consequently some sensations and feelings are valid for some aromantic, while for others not.
Having said that, if you are trying to give yourself an explanation for certain behaviors or ways of being, we want to give you a hand and identify together some frequent situations that aromantics have often found themselves experiencing.
Some of these moments were really significant, because they helped them to better understand their nature, finding a sense of what they previously could not fully understand. We hope to be able to support you by launching a first hook in the direction of this very complex issue ...
Here are some of the more glaring signs that should let you know if you are a disinterested individual in romance.
10 behaviors to watch out for
1. Relationships are not for you
That is, "friends with benefits" is your ideal type of emotional relationship. If you are aromantic you have probably rejected any sentimental proposal because you simply do not understand the reason or you do not care.
2. You have never had a crush
For most of us, crushes are part of our adolescence. Especially in middle and high school, it seemed like everyone had a crush on someone. Not you? Didn't you have any and did you feel different? Even after the period of falling in love with butterflies in the stomach, have you never experienced one? Maybe because you are an aromantic individual!
3. You bond deeply, but if you have someone special in your life, it's not "that" kind of feeling.
In other words, you don't conform to society's expectations; some aromantics bond with someone for economic reasons or to have a confidant with whom to share life.
4. The idea of marriage frustrates you.
Millions of parentheses could open up here, because even heterosexuals can feel frightened or uncomfortable at the idea of getting married. marriage as something romantic or something to aspire to in order to crown a story.
5. Romantic love no, platonic yes.
There are some individuals who accept love and are interested in it only from the platonic aspect, considered more profound and true than the classical concept of romanticism. Romantic love doesn't work, but that doesn't mean you don't have other types of affection.
6. People in general don't get your attention.
Both in romantic and sexual terms. Even under this nuance you can consider yourself aromantic, because many (but not all) aromantic people have no sexual attraction. If you know you are asexual, try to figure out with yourself if romantic relationships are really what you want. If the answer is no for this field as well, then you are among those who define themselves as both asexual and aromantic (aroace).
7. You just don't like romantic stories or movies.
Why don't you understand the feelings that the protagonists feel.
8. It is perfectly fine to have never experienced what others refer to as 'love'.
If you are an aromantic person you don't fall in love and you don't even want to have the chance.
9. The love stories of others bore you.
Not being gifted with this feeling, all 'aro' people are disinterested in any kind of gossip or love affair.
10. When you discovered the term aromantic something clicked inside you.
Maybe that was what you needed to describe who you are?
