When sex gets extreme: here's what to know
When we talk about extreme sex we are not talking about paraphilias which, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, identify the presence of recurrent and intensely sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors, which occur for a period of at least six months and which may involve inanimate objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner, or children and other persons not consenting.
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Rather, extreme sex can be well explained through the BDSM movement which includes a series of definitely extreme erotic practices and behaviors that are well summarized by the 4 letters that make up the acronym.
B = Bondage
It literally means "bond" and also "constraint". In the sexual sphere it indicates all those practices and games that include ropes, knots, laces and a substantial - always consensual - impediment to physical freedom. Starting from light bondage, i.e. the tying of only the hands and / or feet, we arrive at complete forms of knotting, in which any movement is prevented (mummification) or even any contact with the ground (suspension).
D = Domination
It refers to the excitement and pleasure deriving from being guided in one's emotions, sensations and experiences by the will of the partner.
S = Sadism
It implies the ability to derive sexual pleasure from inflicting physical pain or psychological humiliation on other subjects, making them discover an often forgotten physicality, in an engaging erotic context free from barriers linked to the sensation of physical suffering.
M = Masochism
Speculating to the sadist, the masochist experiences, through his own sensoriality and within an erotic situation, intense stimuli caused by a sensation of pain, appreciating them positively and enjoying them.
These are just some of the practices that can be part of an extreme vision of sex, what is clear is that often, in this conception of eroticism, pleasure and pain tend to merge, to become one and not a case since, from a neurological point of view, the centers of pain and pleasure are only a few millimeters apart.
Although many practices considered extreme are often also "at the limit" - of legality, physical and psychological tolerance and morals - they should not be considered as a sign of pathology.
To better understand how far it is permissible to go, beyond the subjective conception of the extreme, a simple, but clear, rule has been created called SSC, i.e. Healthy, Safe and Consensual, to indicate that everything that endangers health o the safety of someone and everything that is done without the consent and approval of the other (or others), regardless of sex and becomes illegal, even legally punishable in the most serious cases.
That is why, whatever you decide to do and live within your sexuality, the negotiation of limits becomes a fundamental step to establish, with the utmost clarity, what you want to happen and what must not happen for any reason. For this purpose, a real "security code" (safeword) is sometimes created: a simple and agreed word that can be used at any time to stop the practice in progress.
To know more
If the possibility of experiencing sex to the extreme intrigues you or, simply, you want to delve into a hitherto unexplored field, a good read can be Extreme Sex, by W. Cooper, published by Castelvecchi
