Feeling alone: how to feel less alone and sad in the midst of so many people
Feeling alone is a condition common to many people. Many happen to feel alone and sad in the midst of so many people or even in the family, not to mention the loneliness that can take us after the end of a story. If we consider this feeling from the point of view of psychology, it is not surprising that it is so shared, and if you think you are the only one to suffer you are very wrong!
Feeling alone is a problem that today appears to be amplified compared to the past. We live increasingly dense and busy lives, which however see us increasingly working or acting in solitude, closed in virtual spaces that occupy a large part of our days. Often it happens to have more opportunities for exchange or links of a virtual nature than real, and although on the other side of the screen there may be a person in flesh and blood, when we close the communication we find ourselves alone, in our bubble.
Feeling alone can be a direct consequence of a need for authentic relationships that we perhaps lack. We feel the need to share with someone who is physically present for us and in whom we can place all our trust, but why can't we find him and, even if we are among so many people, we end up feeling alone in the same way? Aren't we the problem? The little faith we have in ourselves or perhaps our fear of loving, as the video below explains?
Feeling lonely and sad: what does it mean in psychology?
Our psyche never suffers without a valid reason. There is always a mechanism that justifies our suffering. Feeling alone also has a meaning and a precise function in psychology. Feeling alone serves to ignite our desire to connect with others for the purpose of our own survival.
Man is a social animal, as Aristotle said, and to survive and feel less vulnerable he needs to forge bonds with other people. Feeling alone serves to remind us that we need the other, that we cannot do everything alone.
It is no coincidence, in fact, that loneliness can bring terrible consequences that put our own health at risk. As it becomes chronic, it can lead to the development of stress, anxiety, psychosis, depression, suicidal tendencies, premature aging and cardiovascular disease. In the best cases there is "simply" a depressive tendency, with decreased self-esteem, unjustified fears or outbursts of anger. It is therefore a condition about which it is good not to joke and which must lead us first of all to reflect on ourselves.
Feeling alone in the midst of so many people: here's what to do to react!
Feeling alone is not pleasant at all, especially if this feeling comes when you are in the midst of many people, surrounded by many people. What to do then when it happens? First of all, try to react! If you stay in bed or in an armchair focused on that dark feeling, nothing will ever change. The best thing to do is simply ... do anything! Better, of course, if you choose some hobbies or activities that can put you in contact with other people: a group sport, a course in the gym, a "voluntary association, even a part-time job ... always better than staying there at reflect on how lonely you feel!
This advice takes us straight to the second step: if the reality you live in does not offer you the friendships and meetings you hoped for, change your environment! Try going to places other than those you usually go to, you may know someone who looks more like you than you think ...
However, getting out of loneliness must not be an effort or an imposition. It may also be that you feel lonely because first of all you can't be alone and you are not comfortable with yourself! So try to cultivate your solitude, to embrace your true self: ask yourself what you really like and throw yourself headlong. Have you always enjoyed writing? Then start doing it! You will suddenly see solitude as a blissful oasis in which to cultivate your passions in peace. Feeling alone will no longer be a problem, on the contrary ... sometimes you will feel the need for solitude!
To find the right people for you, start from what you like to do: even strangers, but sharing the same passion, will have no difficulty in getting along! And thanks to the internet, in this case, you will be able to meet as many as you want with a click.
Feeling alone is very different from being alone: sometimes we don't realize it or we forget it, but there are people who care about us and who love us. Think about your family members, for example. Maybe you've been living alone for a long time and don't want to talk to them, but overcoming this reluctance you may find that a chat with your loved ones would be able to cheer you up!
Another solution to consider if you feel lonely is to take a pet, which will keep you company. Of course this bond should not replace relationships with people, but it can still be an excellent help.
Feeling alone often, however, is a matter of mind and does not go away if we do not change our way of thinking. It is essential to ask ourselves about the origin of our feeling of loneliness because only by discovering the cause will we then be able to know how to get out of it. Try asking yourself when you feel lonely, what happens and why. It may be useful to be followed by a psychologist in this path.
Also, even if it may seem trivial, try to think positively: if you happen to feel alone now, it does not mean that you will be forever! Try to think of it as a moment of transition and don't burden yourself with negativity, because negativity pushes other people away. Finally, always remember that you are not the only one who feels alone, but it happens to many people! You just have to find someone else like you.
Feeling lonely and sad in the family: why does it happen according to psychology and what to do?
Feeling alone in the family is not easy, yet it can happen that you feel this sense of non-belonging, of feeling isolated even if - in fact - you are surrounded by the affection of a husband or family. Why does it happen? c "is a unique answer, everyone has their own motivations, which most likely, however, have their roots in our childhood.
It may be that in the past you have had problems, that you lacked the affection you would need and, now that you have it, you continue to carry that feeling of abandonment, of loneliness. There are those who, precisely because of these shortcomings, struggle as an adult to establish really firm and strong bonds and will continue to feel lonely and unsatisfied for this very reason.
What to do then to no longer feel alone and sad in the family? First of all it is important to reflect on one's past, on one's emotional history to understand what our feeling of chronic loneliness is due to in order to finally be able to accept it. To do this, the intervention of a specialist may be necessary to help reconstruct and re-elaborate our experience in a positive way.
Feeling lonely after the end of a story: how to overcome loneliness
Feeling alone after the end of a story, unlike the previous case, is more easily understandable: for a long time we have had someone by our side and, now that they are gone, we feel a sense of emptiness that seems to be irreconcilable.
Even if you don't believe it right now, try to trust it: it will get better. To overcome a breakup you only need time, and sometimes that time can be long, but the important thing is to always try to react and not sink into negative feelings.
After the end of a story, your psyche needs to "rework the grief", just like it happens with someone's death.And exactly as in that case, you will have to go through several phases: that of rejection, in which you will try to deny with all of yourself that the breakup ever happened; the phase of anger, in which you will finally accept the idea, but you will be full of anger and resentment towards yourself, him, the whole world; the phase of retraction, where you will begin to blame yourself, feel sorry for yourself and feel more alone and lacking in self-esteem than ever; then the inevitable depression will follow and this is where feeling lonely and sad will be inevitable ...
This phase is certainly the most painful, but it is necessary. Only by going beyond it will you arrive at the step of acceptance, when you finally have metabolized what happened and also the sense of loneliness will diminish. You will feel able to know and hang out with other people again, you will no longer have the fixed idea that he and only he can understand you on this earth: trust me, it's not like that! And you won't be alone forever.
So how do you get over feeling lonely after a breakup? Starting with yourself. Loving you, loving you as you are, surrounding yourself with friends and people who love you just as well and who make you feel better. But above all, never close yourself to love, even if you have felt disappointed, burned, hurt: soon an even bigger one will arrive!
