Jealousy in friendship
How does jealousy arise?
Jealousy is a feeling, an emotion, which one feels towards others. It often appears in the context of a love relationship, but it can also occur within a friendship. person, we are also granted a privileged place in our life. This relationship, therefore, is based on a notion of sharing, exchange and satisfaction, but it also puts us in a situation of dependence towards this person. the relationship - and even more so in the case of a "fusional friendship - one can fear that this source of satisfaction may disappear. In this case, there is a feeling of insecurity which, little by little, turns into jealousy, if one has the impression that something else is elusive or that it is moving away.
Often, it happens that this feeling is addressed to our closest friend, due to unexpected changes, third party inconveniences or small misunderstandings. Yet, sometimes a sincere dialogue would be enough to fix things and rediscover the lost affinity, perhaps with one of the following phrases ...
See also
The object of jealousy
Jealousy can take many forms, but it is rarely unmotivated. In fact, we are never jealous without reason and, whether we recognize it clearly or not, we often know very well what the object of our jealousy is. You can be jealous of a situation, for example: our best friend has a better paid job, she just got a promotion ... It can also be about useless things (she would give anything to have the same hair as her, or get back into the jeans you like so much, but that fit her 100 times better ...), or even about a third person threatening the balance of your relationship, such as a new boyfriend or the arrival of a new friend in the group.
A revealing sensation
Regardless of its intensity, jealousy is synonymous with discomfort and can be considered a valuable signal. In fact, it provides us with information on our needs (especially emotional), on our current state of mind and on our general attitude. But it also, and above all, provides us with information on the way in which we manage our emotions and the relationship question, whether it is "love or" friendship. Jealousy can therefore reveal a more or less conscious situation of rivalry, or even an attitude of possessiveness.
Channel your emotions
Jealousy, whether you feel it or go through it, can quickly become overwhelming… if it becomes disproportionate. It is a normal feeling, but it must be channeled and controlled for the future of the relationship and, above all, for the well-being of all. Because it can be a source of conflict and hostility. In some cases, jealousy can also be simply destructive, particularly if it turns into morbid possessiveness or, conversely, deep hatred. This feeling, therefore, must be able to express itself in a positive and constructive way, to allow us to progress and improve.
When jealousy helps us to improve
In order for jealousy not to take over, it must be analyzed honestly and frankly. By putting our finger in the sore, we will be able to react accordingly. Rather than envying your friend's professional situation, why not use this energy to ask for a raise, or even just to find a job that matches your ambitions? Or to finally start that diet that you have always postponed and which will also give you an enviable figure? Regardless of its object, jealousy should always be considered as the engine that will give us the energy needed to take the reins of the situation and change what does not satisfy us.
How to get out?
Admitting that you are jealous is already a big step. But to manage this emotion and, above all, to get out of this spiral, an important personal effort is needed; which, at times, can take some time depending on the situation.
- Why am I jealous? Where does this feeling come from? What is it hiding? Do I have good reasons to be jealous?… Asking the right questions and analyzing the situation well is important, because only you know the answers and can find the solution.
- Express yourself. Jealousy often reveals a fear (for example, of losing a person's friendship) or a lack of self-esteem. Expressing your discomfort in words is a step towards healing, but above all it allows you to let off steam and ease a difficult situation. who knows, maybe your friend feels similar feelings too! It's time to talk about it.
- Act! Who does not venture does not gain: in order for the object you are jealous of to become an object of personal satisfaction and pride, you have to do something. This undertaking requires energy and courage, so don't hesitate to enlist the support of your friend. She is there for this too, and your relationship, which has finally returned to being based on trust, will be strengthened.
