WEDDING ETIQUETTE: 10 RULES FOR SPOUSES AND GUESTS

Organizing a wedding is never easy for the bride and groom, just as it is not easy for the guests to always know how to behave at the wedding of relatives or friends. To do everything better, there is an etiquette, or a set of precepts to be respected, which concerns exclusively marriage. These good manners refer to any aspect of that big day, whether from the moments of preparation, such as selecting the favors and sending out the invitations, or to the day itself.

Among all this series of precepts, we have selected ten that are essential for a wedding to be successful. Some of these rules must be followed by the bride, others by the groom, still others by both and, finally, there are rules reserved only for participants. Now, however, we also reveal to you what should never be missing from your wedding:

The rules of etiquette for the bride and groom

The future husband and wife have to think of many details to organize the perfect wedding. Whether they rely on one wedding planner whether they do it independently, they must establish the location, the theme of the wedding, the style of favors and invitations, the number of participants and, last but not least, their looks. However, any bridegroom should keep these rules in mind so that that day is perfect.

1. Sending the holdings

Regarding the timing, each invitation must be sent some time in advance, at least 3 months. The reason for this large advance is to allow possible participants to organize themselves with other commitments and prepare for the eventual journey they will have to face if they do not live near the place chosen by the betrothed couple. In the list of possible participants, there must be people who previously invited the future husband and wife to their wedding.

The style of the invitations is not fixed, on the contrary, through them the spouses can make it clear what the theme of their wedding will be. However, according to etiquette, the writings on the invitations must be in gray or black and you must personalize the envelope that contains them by writing the addresses directly by hand. Everything else is at the discretion of you and your future spouse, who you can choose to add a sentence ad hoc for each guest or a quote that seems to represent your love story.

2. The choice of the bouquet

Probably, this is the best known wedding tradition, yet it is worth emphasizing: the bride's bouquet is given to her by the groom himself. To have it delivered to you, your he can choose whether to send it directly to your home, while you are getting ready, or he can deliver it to you when you are about to get out of the car, in front of the entrance to the church or town hall. The throwing of the bouquet takes place once the ceremony is over and towards the end of lunch - or dinner -, just before the cake is cut. According to the bon ton, the bride should prefer to the classic throw, give her bouquet of flowers to her closest friend who is still unmarried present at the wedding, with the hope of being able to get married within a year.

3. Dress code of the bride and groom

The bride's outfit should follow a series of rules that include, first of all, a dress with a shawl or sleeves that cover her shoulders if the wedding is held in a church. Also, if you want to be perfect, wear only one piece of jewelry and think about styling your hair in an elegant updo. As for the veil, it is only provided for brides who have chosen the function in church, while it is not recommended for those who marry in common or for the second time.

Following the etiquette, the groom should wear a woolen suit in any season, in the variant of linen mixed with wool in the warmer seasons. We should avoid the tuxedo, suitable for more informal occasions, and prefer the tight or the classic men's formal suit.

4. The mother of the bride

Often we talk about the delay of the bride - who must not exceed 10-20 minutes - and of the father who "accompanies her to the altar", but the figure of the bride's mother is neglected, who, on the other hand, has a very important role. In fact, she must be the first to reach the place of the ceremony together with the witnesses, in order to welcome the guests. Once everyone is seated, the mother of the bride will wait for her daughter outside the church - or the town hall - and then take her seat only later.

5. Acknowledgments

There are some spouses who prefer to draw up a wedding list for the choice of the gift by the participants. Others, however, decide to do a "fundraiser" to invest in their honeymoon. Whatever your preference, you and your partner should only disclose it after submitting the invitations. Then, once the big day is over, the couple has to worry about sending thanks to all the guests who attended their wedding. Thanks must be written by hand, in the form of a letter or postcard, and should be sent within a year of the wedding, even if it is preferable not to allow more than 5/6 months to pass.

The rules of etiquette for guests

As already mentioned, not only the spouses must follow the bon ton. Participants also need to pay attention to some rules in order to perform at their best during the wedding of relatives or friends.

1. The response to the invitation

The response to participation must be, if not immediate, at least timely. In fact, the future husband and wife have different deadlines to respect as regards the organization of the wedding. To confirm one's presence - or the eventual refusal - a simple call is enough, which also has the purpose of congratulating the couple.

2. The choice of the gift

If the bride and groom do not specify it immediately after sending the invitations, then it is the responsibility of each guest to inquire about any wedding list or information on the gift chosen by the couple. Today, many prefer to receive a honeymoon fee as a present, and not all attendees like this decision. It must be said that the wishes of the celebrated should be placed before their personal preferences and it would be better to always indulge them. If you could not attend the ceremony but had been invited, one of the good manners of etiquette involves making a gift anyway.

3. Dress code of the participants

Normally, the dress code, if there is one, is established by the spouses and already referred to through the invitations. As for the guests, it is well known that there is an absolute ban on the white dress: in fact, that is reserved exclusively for the bride. Also, be careful not to overdo it with the neckline, especially if the function is held in church. If the wedding is in the morning, a knee-length skirt look is recommended, in a simple and not too elaborate style. The long dress is reserved for bridesmaids and best man. If, on the other hand, the wedding was in the afternoon and / or evening, it is possible to lengthen the dress. For make-up, hairstyle and accessories, there is only one rule: never overdo it!

Regardless of the etiquette, the male guests, on the other hand, can always opt for a suit jacket and tie, even when the dress code is not specified. Both a tuxedo and a tailcoat are not recommended, although the former can be worn in the event that the dress code is not specified. marriage was Black Tie. The only men's accessory is the watch: no sunglasses, hats and the like!

4. Marriage jokes

During weddings, a doubt often arises: will there be a joke on the part of the guests or not? This depends on how "the newly married couple is, on the character and also on the type of ceremony and banquet that has been chosen. For example, if the reception takes place in a rather rustic farmhouse with a lot of outdoor space, you could think of organizing the classic "transport" of the bride with the wheelbarrow uphill, to show the physical prowess of the groom. However, if you are among the participants, you know the couple well and you realize that all this is not to their liking, choose a funny speech as an alternative to keep before cutting the cake: it will make everyone smile and no one will be offended.

5. When to leave the reception

It is well known that attending a wedding remains a "really tiring experience: between the various preparations, the ceremony itself and the banquet, the wedding seems like a truly interminable day. According to etiquette, guests should not leave the place of celebration before. of the cutting of the cake, which is a very important moment for this type of event.