Witty phrases - funny quotes and aphorisms about life, love and other topics
Laughing is good for your health, especially if you do it to recover from a bad day. If you have had a terrible day, whether for discussions in the family, with your partner or at work, these aphorisms will cheer you up and it will be impossible not to laugh.Below you will find a collection of witty and funny phrases and quotes on different themes - life, love, friendship, work - that you absolutely must share on social networks or with your friends. But first, start having a laugh with this short video!
Witty phrases about life
The key to living a happy life is definitely not to take it too seriously. Where we feel cheated, the trick is to think of life as a game, or an "opportunity, which has the same ending for everyone, so why not change perspective and way of thinking and therefore act? Below you will find a series of phrases, aphorisms and funny quotes about life: don't forget to share the images they arouse deserve to be shared with friends on WhatsApp or on social networks!
I find television to be very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to another room to read a book.
Groucho Marx
I don't know if God exists. But if it exists, I hope it has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
Do not put off until tomorrow what can be done just as well the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
I have never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did it once, but I was wrong.
Charles Monroe Schulz
Enjoy your life. There is a lot of time to be dead.
Hans Christian Andersen
Life is too important a thing to talk about seriously.
Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when this happens.
Woody Allen
When I hear someone say "life is hard", I'm always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"
Sydney Justin Harris
Don't treat life too seriously. You'll never make it out alive.
Elbert Hubbard
The finer things in life are either immoral, or illegal, or make you fat.
George Bernard Shaw
Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something.
William Goldman
If I were to relive my life again, I would make the same mistakes again, only sooner.
Anonymous
Life does not imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
Life is a book that is loaned to us. And they generally want it back just when we're about to figure out the plot.
Giancarlo Magalli
Be careful when reading medical books. You could die from a typo.
Mark Twain
Experience teaches that men have never learned anything from experience.
George Bernard Shaw
I guess if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and try to find someone whose life gave them vodka and throw a party.
Ron White
Life is like an ice cream cone… you have to learn how to lick it!
Charles Monroe Schulz
Politicians and diapers need to be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
Life is made up of real things and supposed things: if we put the real ones on one side, where do we put them?
Totò
"And what do you do in life?"
"I'll wait for Friday".
Anonymous
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't do.
Walter Bagehot
There are times when everything is fine; don't be scared, it doesn't last.
Jules Renard
If life doesn't smile at you, tickle it.
Anonymous
Life is so bitter, the wine is so sweet; so why not drink?
Umberto Saba
Witty goodnight phrases
If you've had a hard day and can't wait to go to sleep, these funny phrases are for you! Often goodnight is the only solution to bring to an end a day that started badly and ended worse, bad days happen for no reason. Share these funny goodnight images with whomever you prefer, on WhatsApp, Facebook or in person with your friends and give them a good laugh!
If you want breakfast in bed tomorrow, remember to sleep in the kitchen. Night!
And then the moment will come when you will feel strong, very strong, capable of breaking the world, but nothing ... you will already have put on your pajamas.
The bed seduced me and I succumbed to his advances. Good night.
The heart says "goodnight world", the head says "it's only 4pm".
My bed is a magical place where everything that I should have done and didn't do comes to mind.
Anonymous
There are nights that goodnight is an opinion.
We all have lovely neighbors who, as soon as you put your head on the pillow, start with removals, group dances and bowls tournaments.
I have so much sleep that I make dreams in lire. Good night!
Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my drug dealer, and the alarm clock is my police.
But really, before falling asleep do you whisper goodnight to each other with love? No, because my husband finds me snoring, asleep with glasses, hot water bottle, double pillow, book and maybe foaming at the mouth!
I failed the swimsuit fitting, but I'm infallible in those pajamas. Good night!
I have so much sleep that I make dreams in lire. Good night!
Tonight I feel so transgressive that I'm ready for an extreme gesture: I don't put sugar in chamomile. Night!
"Goodnight" and then it's still online. He did not understand that I could start the Punic wars.
8:30 pm: pajamas in socks, blanket and herbal tea, because life is one and must be lived to the full.
I took the test: “Find out who you're going to sleep with”. And my pajamas came out!
I always think that coughing and tossing and turning in bed at night should be considered gymnastics. Good night.
Bad when you say goodnight to the love of your life in the evening and he can't answer you because it's a sofa.
Be quiet ... can you hear it? It is my soft, beautiful and warm bed that calls my name. I have to go and hear what he wants. Good night.
Between saying and doing there is pajamas. Good night!
I go to bed very late every night, and when I wake up in the morning I realize it wasn't a good idea.
I go to bed, a few cm separate us but they seem miles and my fear is that I will no longer be able to hear you as I should. Goodnight wake up.
Witty phrases about good morning
For all those times when the urge to get out of bed is lacking ... these funny phrases are witty images in the form of aphorisms and quotes, great to share as a good morning message, when it is anything but a good morning! Once again , the solution is to laugh at it.
The first five days after the weekend are the hardest to deal with.
Some mornings I feel the need to break the damn alarm clock but only one thing stops me. I spent hundreds of euros to buy my phone.
Anonymous
Some mornings you wake up with an incredible desire to start over. To sleep.
I would also say hello to you, but to know for sure I would have to wait tonight.
Today I woke up and realized three terrible things: today is not Friday, not even tomorrow is Friday, and not even the day after tomorrow is Friday.
Anonymous
Good morning. Looking for a stand-in who starts the day in my place.
Anonymous
My bed is not fine today, so I decided to stay home and take care of him.
Anonymous
I need an alarm clock that, in the morning, instead of messing with me, hugs me and says: "Shhh, it's nothing, go back to sleep."
If every day is a gift, I would like to know where I can give back on Monday. Good morning.
Anonymous
My idea of a good morning is to open your eyes in the morning, take a deep breath and go back to sleep.
I don't like morning people: either mornings or people.
Anonymous
They say that in the morning you have an extra gear, but mine does not enter. Good morning!
But the one who said that good morning starts in the morning, what time did he get up ?!
Anonymous
In the morning you can't always get up and run, remember that you are neither lion nor gazelle ... and you are also of a certain age! Good morning!
Anonymous
I have to get up, my coffee needs me.
Anonymous
The first 24 hours of the day are the most difficult.
The day was canceled. Go back to bed.
But weren't we woken up yesterday ?!
Anonymous
Hello is a factual contradiction.
Wanted to do, even used. Good morning!
Anonymous
Love is blind, especially in the morning, because I can't see anything before having a coffee.
Anonymous
Everyone expects me to be a morning person, but I could only be if the morning started at noon.
Hello and welcome to a new episode of "Madonna che sleep che ho". Theme song!
Sleep, get out of this body full of life! Goodmorning everyone!
Whatever your question, my answer is: coffee. Good morning!
Witty phrases about love
Love is often difficult to deal with: disappointments can always be around the corner, as can suffering. But there are those who manage to do it with a smile. These funny aphorisms refer to a series of images about life in love, both in a newly born relationship or images of married life. To reiterate how essential it is not to take yourself too seriously, these witty and funny phrases and quotes will help you get the point: share these funny pictures with whoever you prefer, thus making your friends laugh even only via WhatsApp!
What happiness is will only be known after getting married. But then it will be too late.
Peters Sellers
Get someone who can cook. Love passes, hunger does not.
Okay, I'm not going to be a phenomenon but it seems to me that not even my soul mate is committing to death to find me.
A man, if I may believe a friend of mine, always has two characters: his own, and what his wife attributes to him.
Albert Camus
Your soul mate is out there. Among other 7 billion people. Spread across 5 continents. Assuming she is alive. And that she is single.
Anonymous
They say marriages are heaven sent. The same goes for thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood
There is no more sincere love than the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw
A wedding is always done by two people who are prepared to swear that only the other is the one who snores.
Terry Pratchett
Get married: if you find a good wife you will be happy; if you find a bad one, you will become a philosopher.
Socrates
Getting married is like putting your hand in a sack full of snakes, hoping to get an eel out.
Leonardo da Vinci
The one who marries for money, at least has a reasonable reason.
Gabriel Laub
Marriage is like a mousetrap; those who are inside would like to get out, and the others turn around to enter.
Giovanni Verga
When you are fed up with yourself, get married and get fed up with someone else.
Arthur Bloch
The first man who got married didn't know. The second has no excuses ...
Sacha Guitry
Being compatible means having the same charger for the phone.
Anonymous
All you need is love. But a little bit of chocolate, every now and then, doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theory.
John Wilmot
As a single, at first, you are optimistic. Like: I want to meet a man who is really smart, really sweet, really handsome, with a good career ... Six months later, instead, you say: Oh Lord, any mammal with a day job.
Carol Leifer
Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong love story.
Oscar Wilde
“You complete me” only the crossword puzzle told me.
The single enemy number 1 is the friend who wants to marry him by force and only presents him with links between the macaque and a dumpster.
Anonymous
