Non-verbal communication: the message you send from your body without using words
Non-verbal communication is a language that does not need words. It is used frequently in all types of human relationships to exchange information. Maybe you've never noticed it, but stop and think about how many things your body communicates and how little space we reserve for words in both professional and private relational exchange. Simply put, learn to decipher body language!
What is meant by non-verbal communication
By non-verbal communication we mean both the tone of the voice and therefore the intonation and sounds with which we accompany our speeches and the gestural part, all those signals that we send around us using our hands, arms, feet and legs. Unlike words, non-verbal communication is instinctive and unfiltered, so learning to recognize and decipher these signals can provide us with a lot of useful information about who we are in front of. Body language is incredibly powerful and able to reveal intentions, thoughts and emotions in an irrational way! By continuing to read we will learn to observe who is speaking in front of us but also who is speaking to a wider audience, because we will be able to identify all these signals by classifying them correctly. The interpretation of body language in fact always takes into account some important factors: space, movement, physical contact and all those other elements that we can characterize as paralinguistic. Here you will find a small course to understand each other more and a guide to interpret the different non-verbal cues: an important way to understand others without the need to use words.
See also
Communicating with gestures
Some gestures are part of non-verbal communication which can be easily decoded such as redness or paleness, excessive sweating indicating tension or embarrassment, goosebumps indicating a shiver or cold or emotion as well as tremor. You may have observed someone biting their lip, blinking their eyelashes, this indicates for example both embarrassment and sexual tension and a predisposition towards another individual, just as it is a sensual gesture to caress your hair, undo your shirt or tune the look. These are typical examples of liking gestures, in the course of a meeting or dinner, just like spreading your arms or legs and getting comfortable. A closed posture instead with folded arms and tight legs indicates refusal and desire to get away from a situation in which you do not feel comfortable: the message is clear, and it is a way to show our disapproval!
Proximity: what it means in body language
In the books they call it proxemics. This term refers to the discipline of non-verbal communication that studies the irrational creation by man of micro-spaces. Just like animals do, in fact, man also tends to delimit his territory in any context he finds himself, regulating his life of social relations also according to the space he occupies. Understanding how man manages his living space can tell us a lot about his emotions and feelings. When the man is within 45 cm of a second person, we can say that he is at an intimate distance, which inevitably comes to physical contact. A minimum distance allows you to speak in a low voice and sense the other's smells and emotions. A distance from 45cm to 120cm is instead considered personal: it is the distance we usually have from friends and people we like. Up to 300 cm we talk about social distance, to understand it is that between colleagues and acquaintances. Over 300cm, on the other hand, is a public distance, the one held with those who are strangers to us. This distance is influenced by many factors, by personal nature, because clearly those who are shy will keep a greater distance, from sex (it seems that women are more prone to closeness), from social status because important people keep greater distances and also from characteristics of the context (if it is very cold or on the contrary very hot). Finally, it is clear that in a delicate moment like the one in which we are currently living due to the Covid 19 pandemic, the distance cannot be considered indicative of a specific non-verbal language. In fact, because of the Coronavirus social distancing arises from a constructed and sought-after need and not from an instinctive attitude and therefore cannot be taken as an indicator of a character aspect. Better consider the other signs!
What do body movements tell?
Another form of non-verbal communication is given by the movements that the body makes unconsciously. This discipline is also called kinesics and includes all the gestures we make with a single part of our body, from the mouth, to the eyes, to the fingers: it is the so-called gestures that allow us to express ourselves more clearly. Almost all of these movements are involuntary. We use these non-verbal gestures as we speak to accompany our speeches and clarify our words. We entrust non-verbal communication with an important task that of making immediately understandable, without having to specify, what we are saying so that it is clear. It is also a way to express yourself more quickly: instead of saying, for example, "good, I agree with what you just said", we raise our thumbs in a sense of appreciation and communicate our intentions. Those in front of us immediately understand our approval as they watch us because they decode our gesture without the need for further words. They are clear and shared messages!
Paralinguistics: all expressions of communication!
By paralinguistics we mean all those forms of non-verbal communication such as clearing the voice, changing the tone of voice, increasing or decreasing the volume but also accompanying the words with tears, laughter, sobs, snorts and other expressions that make what we are saying. Non-verbal behaviors can be both unconscious and deliberate, they can be transmitted unconsciously from the brain or even conscious. In any case, they are always able to tell something that goes beyond what simple words are offering to the ears of those who listen to us. Let's take an example: if while we speak we raise the tone we are placing ourselves in a higher dimension and therefore we are trying to emerge with respect to our interlocutor. Raising your voice can indicate, for example, that we are nervous or angry, just as lowering your voice can show the world that we are intimidated, that we feel awe or ashamed. Moving your hands frantically while we speak, on the other hand, can indicate excitement or nervousness.
Think about how many things, for example, a simple glance can tell!
What does physical contact indicate?
A further form of non-verbal communication is haptics which includes all those aspects of physical contact. Like touching, touching, shaking hands, patting the back, high-five or hugging. When there is physical contact, the relationship between two people clearly crosses the boundaries of knowledge and becomes more intimate and intense. Obviously, physical contact can have a very different value because it is linked to the culture, the habits of a people, the character of the different protagonists: all characteristics that must be taken into account in the analysis of the non-verbal communication of the different subjects. Physical contact is perceived differently also based on sex, men can be more enterprising than women especially in the first approaches, women usually need more time to create physical closeness.
An aspect not to be overlooked is that physical contact is able to persuade our interlocutor by creating a small and momentary bond: touching a person with whom we are talking leads our interlocutor to feel closer and predisposed to us and therefore more inclined to accept. our reasoning.
This is why any communication to be truly complete and effective can never do without non-verbal communication. Understanding the unconscious mechanisms that regulate non-verbal communication is therefore essential to fully understand the person in front of us, to intuit the feelings that are hidden in the speech behind the words and why not, also to better understand our own non-verbal emotions!
Did the topic of non-verbal communication tickle you? Search the net: you will find many books to deepen this topic.
