How to react to bullying: useful tips and ways to deal with it
How to react to bullying? It is not easy to find the right way to react to attacks of this type and break that vicious circle that inevitably creates between victim and executioner. And if you are the mother of a child or a boy who is bullied, you will perfectly know that mixture of anger and "helplessness that derives from the impossibility of always being next to him to defend him from unrighteous and unjust wickedness and violence, like those in the video." following.
Bullying can be really terrible for a young person or a very young person: beyond the immediate pain it causes, it can lead in the long term to develop disorders and pathologies that it risks carrying around until adulthood, from low self-esteem to depressive states. So let's try to analyze together how to react to bullying and how to help our children to overcome the repeated psychological violence inflicted by their peers, without losing self-confidence.
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Before understanding how to react to bullying, you need to understand the causes
To react to bullying in the most appropriate and healthy way for your child, it is first of all necessary to analyze what are the reasons that can lead one child to become a bully and another a victim of this type of violence.
Scientific studies have shown that children who become bullies, demonstrating a strong aggression and desire to exercise control over others, have a strong narcissism, but not a "high image of themselves: through violence, in fact, they try to gain power and, consequently, admiration, trying to appear better than they themselves consider themselves - a form of insecurity, in short, just like the one that seems to affect most of those who become victims.
According to studies, children who are attacked by bullies tend to question themselves, their own worth. They are the easiest victims to hit because somehow they already feel inadequate and fragile. Unlike bullies, however, they do not have a "high self-esteem, a characteristic that makes them real drivers and pack leaders, usually quite popular. This does not exclude, however, bullies can be insecure, indeed!
How to react to bullying
The first step to respond to bullying is to break the silence. "Talking about one's discomfort is the technique to react to bullying", says Vincenzo Vetere, IT scientist and president of the "Association against school bullying (ACBS)," It may seem obvious and trivial, but by talking about it you make the problem known and that will be a point of departure of your ransom ".
Talking about the violence that is suffered is not at all simple. Often the victim is the first to feel guilty, or is afraid and fears retaliation for such a complaint. Parents must be very attentive, then, to the alarm bells, ready to pick up the signs of possible suffering. If your child shows problems such as closure, depression, decline in performance, loss of interest, eating or sleeping disorders , refusing to communicate, could be bullied.
So try to take note of his discomfort and to open a dialogue with him without making him feel judged in any way. Your child must feel free to express himself, at least in the family environment, in order to recover trust in others and in himself.
"Communication with an adult is essential to combat the phenomenon of bullying", says Cristiano Castelnovo, professional educator and ACBS advisor. "Every parent must be able to establish a relationship of trust in order for their child to be able to talk about the dynamics that take place at school.The victim of bullying needs a solid and stable point of reference, as an association we always recommend talking to someone, often parents at this stage are not considered for fear of repercussions. School and family must always be in close contact to make school a safe and collaborative place ".
It will also be good to intervene in the school environment, trying to educate the classes as much as possible to the inclusion and acceptance of the different. The victim of bullying should be accompanied by psychological support that can allow him to transform the bad experience into an "opportunity for personal strengthening and growth, also helping him to better develop his relational capacity.
How to react to cyberbullying
Even in the case of cyberbullying it is essential to break the silence. Your child must be able to talk to you about it right from the start, and for this to happen you must have been able to establish a relationship of trust and communication with him. Give him the space he wants and that it is right to have, but always let him know that you are there, that in case of difficulty he can always turn to you.
To avoid cyberbullying it will also be necessary to provide your child with an "adequate education in virtuality, explaining the concept of privacy and inviting him not to share anything in his life, nor to listen to those who do not know. Try to control as much as possible. , his navigation, setting time limits or blocking unsuitable sites and content.It will be easier for him not to run into risky situations.
Advice to give to your child on how to respond to bullying
By helping your child build their self-esteem and self-confidence, you can teach them how to best respond to bullying. Explain that bullies draw their strength from their victims' reactions, that the less satisfaction they can give them, the less relish they will try to exert violence.
Explain to him that the bullies will try in every way to make him feel weak and helpless, but that he is not: his inner strength is much greater than their physical strength and they have nothing less than them, far from it! Teach him to use his intelligence to respond astutely. Guide him to discover his strengths and weaknesses, helping him to strengthen his self-esteem and awareness, so that he knows what he is worth. His personal safety will be his self-defense tool because bullies can't stand those who are self-confident!
But above all, explain well to your child how important it is to report bullying immediately: explain to him that doing it is not cowardly, but a real manifestation of courage! He can contact you, a professor, anyone you wish: it is good that an adult is informed as soon as possible so that no one has to be bullied anymore.
If you would like further advice and possible support, you can contact associations such as ACBS, from whose collaboration this article was born.
