How to learn how to "manage" your boyfriend's ex

Sooner or later we all had to ask ourselves the question: how can I keep his ex at bay without being crazy? Our boyfriend's exes become enemies for at least two main reasons: jealousy and confrontation. The greatest fear is that he may still be interested in her, that he may be in love with, or tied to her by something inseparable that you cannot understand and from which you are cut off. To this is added the comparison, more or less conscious, which has to do with one's self-esteem and self-confidence. If you don't believe in your own potential, or if you experience the confrontation with your neighbor, the paranoia begins. All seasoned with spasmodic searches on her profile, treasure hunts on Instagram with your friends, stalking through Stories and so on. How to appease this instinct? ... On video you can see how we react when we hear the name of the feared enemy pronounced

1. Get a clear position from him

He must take a position that sets the boundaries and that, within the limits of decency, protects you and your relationship. This must be a priori the first step to make a relationship work, and to protect her from the crumbs that her ex might wisely leave lying around. He must not mediate between you, he must clearly clarify the roles. You are his current woman, she is a person from the past with whom he has closed a chapter.

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2. Use detachment and indifference

Kind, detached, slightly ironic, little confidence in marking who is the mistress now. The space for her is limited, and it is bounded by you. With indifference you do not give her room to interfere, with kindness you will be right, with irony you will make her understand that you are awake and attentive. If she wants to be a part of your relationship the problem is hers alone, certainly not yours.

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3. Stop following her on social media

Stop following it, try to understand and imitate, discover and above all use social media to compare yourself. Knowing how she dresses, what music she listens to, or how much she weighs does not change or affect the course of your life in the slightest. Fomenting your insecurities by allowing them to enter your life, entering yours yourself, is a sick self-defeating game useful only to make you lose self-esteem and maybe even that of the boy you have chosen and who, remember, has chosen you.

4. Harness the power of awareness

You need to know how much you are worth, who you are, what you can give and how much you can have. Aware of this and the value of your relationship in which you are the protagonist, you will no longer have anything to do with any ex. It does not mean that she should be worth less than you, but the comparison does not hold up, because you simply know that you are worth enough, at least as much as she is, and certainly a great deal to yourself. Each story is unique, each relationship. And maybe she fears you a lot more than you fear her, and you need to keep that in mind. In the end, the ex is her.

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5. And if the message is not clear to you ...

... fill your boyfriend's wall with photos while you kiss, with memories of your hot holiday, make public the messages that the mother-in-law sends you for your sweets, and let the subliminal take its bad course

Here is a good idea to mark the territory