How to get along with the mother-in-law: 5 types to relate to
When you start a marriage / cohabitation there is not only the partner to deal with and care for your relationship, but also all the members of his family will become part of your life. Some characters of the family will be nice and not. it will be difficult to get along with it, but some dynamics could develop that are not always pleasant and which, coincidentally, could undermine the emotional stability of the couple. This is the case of mothers-in-law with whom, especially if there are grandchildren in the middle, it becomes difficult relate.
We wish you a mother-in-law like this:
1. The mother-in-law who wants to be a friend
It is difficult for your partner not to want you to be friends with his mother. Unhinging the mother-child relationship is not easy when you want to resolve it by staying out of it. The advice is to be available, establishing a maximum of moments that can be shared throughout the week, to be spent together with the mother-in-law, with well-defined boundaries on themes and topics. Never lose your authenticity, at the cost of discussing, but nevertheless, don't always be on the defensive because a mother-in-law you get along with could be a good ally and a good sidekick in the family. In any case, once the custom has been established, the point must be firmly established: your availability must be limited to that specific time and further exceptions are not allowed.
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2. The intrusive mother-in-law with grandchildren
For all grandmothers, when a grandchild is born it is a bit like going back in time, you go back to being a woman-mother. If she is constantly calling you to check on the situation, it may be wise to let her stay with the baby during the day if you work, or to set up shifts where she can stay with him and help out (e.g. for shopping, for the gym). That way he will feel useful and you will also be able to get help out. If, on the other hand, you feel that there is a lot of intrusiveness on the part of your mother-in-law, it is better to avoid unclear attitudes and explain that you really appreciate the help that is offered to you, but that you need more privacy, always guaranteeing a space for her and the grandchildren who can make you feel useful not put aside.
3. The mother-in-law who wants the son-husband
It often happens that the mother-in-law confuses her son with her husband, especially if she becomes a widow, and that this expectation can create discomfort within your relationship. The best solution is to address the issue with your partner, and try to limit the time. that he spends with his mother, deciding together a certain number of hours to dedicate to her.It is obvious that the contact with the mother-in-law must be preserved, the important thing is to learn to rationalize the time according to your personal needs.
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4. The intrusive mother-in-law and mammon son
In these cases, only one word is useful: patience. Getting angry and delirious would be useless and perhaps lead to you being isolated.If you want to survive it will be necessary to try to stay calm, make your partner think when you can, and try to change register, showing the other face of yourself, more mature. Every suggestion that will be given to you, question it from all points of view and you will surely find gaps. Leverage those to show your disappointment, but without showing resentment, anger, presumption. Much more is achieved with patience and small strategies than by declaring war.
5. The mother-in-law is absent
More and more mothers-in-law "abandon" their children, daughters-in-law and grandchildren to their fate, cultivating friends, Cuban sauces, cruises and various other, almost disinterested in the family. Even this type of mother-in-law could be problematic because the willingness to help in the family would be completely lacking (precious if you are both a mother and a worker). In these cases, concrete help could be asked more often by expressing the real need to have a more present figure in the family. We are still talking about a mother, she will not deny her help!
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Ultimately, together with the character and tendencies of the mother-in-law, what counts a lot is your way of doing and how rational or instinctive you are. Find out your true character with this personality test:
