Mental attraction: what it is and how to recognize it
Stronger, more lasting and more fascinating than the so-called love at first sight and the "physical attraction, there is certainly" mental attraction. How you manage to create this harmony between two people simply through dialogue is partly revealed, even there may be some differences from case to case. One thing, however, is certain: attraction and mental understanding are fundamental to spark the spark of true and sincere love, which can be recognized by these signals:
Physical attraction vs mental attraction
“Other men see in you a beauty that will vanish faster than their years. But I see in you a beauty that will not fade, and in the autumn of your days that beauty will not be afraid to look in the mirror, and will not be offended. Only I love in you what is not seen. "
Khalil Gibran
Most people recognize physical attraction from the first moment. It is an understanding that is created between two individuals starting only from the gaze. Many studies have revealed that our mind takes about 90 seconds to understand if we like who we are in front of us from an aesthetic point of view. From this short phase all those "symptoms" of infatuation and love at first sight arise. They range from butterflies in the stomach to chills and heart beating madly. However, it is now known how sensations can be - and very often are - only temporary. As much physical attraction is able to establish itself quickly, as it can be transient.
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Mental attraction, on the other hand, does not only imply an exchange of glances. It is created in the emotional and intellectual sphere thanks, above all, to dialogue. We must not think that the topics initially dealt with by two people who experience this type of attraction are for force serious and demanding. In fact, this mental connection can be created in a particular way by touching on seemingly trivial topics, but which are dear to the two interlocutors. Obviously, there are some predilections in terms of topics for men and women, but what really matters is how they talk about it.
Therefore, mental attraction is one of the most important foundations for making a real love story. It does not exclude the physical one, on the contrary. Normally in a couple they coexist. Instead, what cannot last is the only physical attraction: without a "mental and emotional understanding it cannot exist over time and vanishes, just like that ephemeral beauty mentioned by Khalil Gibran in his quote.
The characteristics of mental attraction
Given that this harmony cannot be demonstrated "concretely" as the physical one, because it does not concern the exterior of those involved, it is normal to wonder how it can be recognized. Even if some signs of mental attraction can change depending on the person, there are certain characteristics evident in all couples who experience it.
1. Mental attraction goes beyond being soulmates
Mental attraction is frequently confused with that concept known as "soul mates". In the collective imagination, soul mates would be two people who by destiny or by a higher almost spiritual will are destined to be together. Their love is mostly dictated by their being similar, if not equal, in many aspects of life.
All this differentiates the soulmates of the most romantic minds from the mental attraction that occurs in reality. The relationships derived from this attunement are a mature choice and not the fruit of fate. Furthermore, a woman and a man linked in this way are not they feel destined, but they are traveling companions through everyday life.
2. The emotional part is fundamental
It is wrong to believe that mental attraction occurs only from the point of view of the intellect. Feeling this understanding requires emotions to come into play. Everything you experience on the level of feelings, including vulnerability and insecurity, is not frightening because you know that on the other side there is a person who is able to understand and understand this. our very intimate aspect.
3. Mental attraction does not mean being the same
Just as it is not to be confused with soulmates, in the same way feeling a strong mental attraction is not synonymous with being the same. Obviously, there are shared interests at the base and, more importantly, shared values and principles. However, this does not mean that the two potential future partners are photocopies of each other. There are differences between them which, however, stimulate their relationship and which they openly share.
In mental attraction, the point of view of others is always accepted and valued, without ever being diminished. This process indicates a healthy relationship - be it love or friendship, because only thanks to differences can a couple be able to grow and enrich themselves, making their own unprecedented perspectives.
How to create mental attraction between two people
Without a doubt, such a strong chemistry and with these characteristics is the result of in-depth knowledge. However, it is possible to lay the foundations to create a first draft of mental attraction, which will then be cultivated and developed over time.
- Give the other person your full attention: this principle applies to both men and women. If you want him to take that extra step of being complicit with someone, then you need to show your interest in the time you are spending together.
- Keep in mind the importance of eye contact: looking in the eyes of those in front of you is not just a gesture that is made to "win" someone, but to create an understanding and show you sincerely interested in your interlocutor.
- Do not show yourself for what you are not: as already mentioned before, mental attraction also provides an emotional connection. Therefore, don't create some sort of alter ego on first dates, but don't be afraid to reveal yourself vulnerable. Vulnerability fascinates both a man and a woman because it means showing one's deepest self without masks.
