Asexual: what are the characteristics of a person who is now defined as such?
For asexuals, not having sex is not a renunciation but a necessity. For them, making love is boring and not very stimulating! Yet making love is also good for their health!
The word asexual was introduced at the beginning of the new century when we realized a new trend that was coming to light and affecting an increasing number of people. These people, scattered around the planet, found themselves living a particular experience, different from that of others and before realizing that a definition could bring them all together under one category, they believed they were the only ones in the world to whom something similar happened. In fact, they felt the so-called exception to the rule, the result of a problem that could affect the physical or psychic sphere, but which in any case denounced an anomaly in the system. Instead. Asexual people are not as few as it was believed, and not even particular cases. In the world there are 70 million, that is 1% of the population on Earth and they are not even recent attitudes because they have existed for as long as there has been Homo Sapiens. Recent is only their definition and the creation of the category of asexuals who are finally recognized as they deserve.
See also
We speak of the fourth sexual orientation
Asexuality is the fourth type of sexual orientation along with heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality. It is certainly not a pathology, because it does not originate in the individual from trauma, from sexual dysfunctions or even worse from rigid or overly religious education. It is a recent achievement: just think that in 1994, the American Psychiatric Association removed asexuality from the diagnostic manual of mental disorders! Asexuals do not have libido disorders and do not suffer from their condition: they can even have sex but for them it will always be like eating a sandwich when they already feel full! Not being a pathology you will understand that it is not possible to vary, unless the external and internal conditions of the person change, this situation.
What is asexuality
For a long time it was believed that asexual was someone who cannot get aroused. Nothing more false. The asexual not only gets aroused, masturbates but also has sex, perhaps even regularly. Where then is the difference with all the others? What does asexuality consist of? The asexual is uninterested in sex. He considers it boring, superfluous, sometimes monotonous or even tiring. He does not feel any urgent desire or need, he does not want to have sex, in short, but he has no repulsion. An asexual man or woman who is can easily become aroused in a situation but does not feel true sexual desire. Indeed, it remains rather indifferent. An asexual who masturbates does so as a pure physical need for the well-being of their body but not for real sexual fulfillment. Asexuals are not all virgins and this truth cannot and should not surprise us! Asexuality is not a clinical condition, but an identity phenomenon: if a person says he is asexual it is not up to us to interpret from his behavior whether he is in our opinion or not. If it says it is, it is. Point.
The coming out of asexuals
Being recognized in a sexual category means a lot to those who have believed for years to be the only one to experience certain drives. The birth of this typology coincided with a real liberation for asexuals, and also for the release from a sense of solitude and silence. Being able to talk about your condition, your desires (and in this case the absence of your sexual desires) in a serene and clear way, free from any sort of compromise, prejudice or taboo is as essential for asexuals as it is for any of us. According to some, however, for asexuals we cannot simply speak of coming out, because it would be like revealing a non-behavior, a lack of choice rather than a real choice. However you think, an indispensable coming out for an asexual is undoubtedly the one with the partner who obviously must be informed of the sexual desires and the concept of sex of the person with whom one chooses to spend life.
Does an asexual fall in love?
The answer is obvious: yes. Just like sexual, asexuals also fall in love. Of people of the same sex, of the opposite sex or of both sexes, this means that an asexual can be homoromantic, heteroromantic or biromantic. Sex and love, we have often seen, are not the same thing but rather belong to two very distinct emotional spheres. This means that an asexual can safely feel love without however feeling the desire for intimate and sexual contact with another person. It's not much different than when you sexually desire someone out of pure physical attraction without feeling any emotional involvement!
For asexuals there can be love without sex: in these cases, however, it is obvious that the partner is aware and approves of this inclination so as not to be in obvious contrasts!
But why does an asexual make such a choice?
The reasons that can be behind such a choice, apart from one's own personal inclination, can be many. In some cases, asexuality can also arise as a rejection from the sexual bombardment to which the media subject us in a continuous and incessant manner. The choice to distance oneself from the sexual sphere is a way of not experiencing performance anxiety and the multitude of stimuli to which society is subjected. If this may be true today, it is also true that asexuality has always existed, since there have been men and women. This means that it probably arises from the sum of different and complex biological factors and is then consolidated by a deep-rooted choice.
Today, asexuality is therefore a conscious and well-organized movement that has also been able to take its place on social networks: we are talking about the asexual movement, which prefers online relationships between people and few real encounters. Individuals who define themselves as asexual in most cases are not very fond of physicality and even physical affective exchanges and prefer indirect contacts, especially virtual ones.
Three myths about asexulity to dispel
Asexual does not mean that he is afraid of sex, nor does he have a sexual dysfunction or other pathology.
Asexuality is not an aversion to sex. We have seen that asexuals get aroused like everyone else simply has no interest in conveying their sexual desire by turning it into fulfillment. The body experiences erotic stimuli that the mind does not recognize, so they do not show any kind of interest in sex and reaching orgasm.
Asexual doesn't mean inexperienced, single or unable to love. Many asexuals are in a relationship, and some even have sexual intercourse with their partner. They have no real sexual attraction but they are definitely romantically attracted to the person they love. Relationships with an asexual aren't necessarily sexless. If the asexual loves a sexual then it is likely that the two have intercourse either to please the sexual partner or because they feel compelled to do so, perhaps not having communicated their status to their partner or partner. On the other hand, there are also asexuals who do not want any kind of relationship, not even without sex.
Asexual does not mean not having erotic fantasies. By now we have understood that asexuals also masturbate and have sexual fantasies, even if they experience masturbation in a less direct way, as a fulfillment that is never a preparation for sex or an alternative to sex but rather a way of being comfortable with the own body.
